13 Most Common Parenting Mistakes – One of the hardest tasks you can go through as an adult is parenting. This is because no matter how prepared you are, there’s always a curved ball lurking in the corner. This is why we bring you parenting mistakes you want to avoid.
These surprises can have a lifetime impact on children. However, the good news is that parenting mistakes can easily be fixed if identified early.
13 Most Common Parenting Mistakes We Should Avoid Now
Here are the 13 parenting mistakes we should avoid.
1. Overindulging them
A lot of parents make this mistake in the name of meeting their child at every point of their need.
While that is a good thing, doing it excessively will end up hurting the child.
Overindulging is giving them things they don’t need or accepting things they shouldn’t do in the first place. If you’ve been doing this, the best thing to do is dealing with overindulgence as soon as possible.
If you don’t, they won’t have the chance to develop their confidence and it will prevent them from becoming a responsible adult.
Here are some examples of how parents can overindulge their kids:
- Dressing up for a teenager who is capable of doing that on their own.
- Always doing the laundry for teenage kids who are more than capable.
- Failing to instill simple moral values in your children. By not ensuring they use polite words when asking for help.
- Giving out too much money than they need hence making them financially indiscipline.
2. Avoiding Sex-related Discussions
Topics relating to sexuality should not be given a skittish explanation.
Sex education is important for children especially when they are teenagers or approaching puberty.
Although it might feel inappropriate for you or awkward.
But it is best you answer every one of their questions relating to sexuality and never make them feel weird for asking.
Failure to address topics on sex-related matters and the rest can make your child go get information from outsiders.
They can also seek out answers from the internet and we all know how unreliable that can be.
Children are inquisitive, so avoiding topics like this with them will only fuel their hunger making them look for answers from other sources.
Knowingly or unknowingly, parents are guilty of this, as they either compare a child with his peers or his siblings.
This action cannot be overemphasized as being unhealthy to the child’s growth, it breeds envy and jealousy.
The child sees himself as not good enough and grows in this misrepresentation of him/herself.
Children internalize what they are told about themselves.
So, if you make a statement like “Look at your friend Richard, he never gets it wrong but your case is different”, this will become the child’s internal memo, a voice he always hears.
Hence, instead of comparison, use words of encouragement.
Constant comparison will leave the child wondering if there’s something wrong with him.
Help them understand the situation and how to deal with it.
Words of encouragement laud a child while still demonstrating that there is room for improvement.
Use positive labels on your child only and discard the negative ones.
4. Not Listening
Creating a good relationship with your child starts by giving a listening ear.
You should restrain yourself from being judgmental or looking for an error to fix.
Doing that will only prevent your child from opening up to you.
Hence, allow them to express how they deeply feel by creating time for them and acknowledge their feelings because they’re also valid.
5. Seeking Perfection in Children
There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting your kids the perfect clothes, gift items, and other material needs.
But, when you begin to yearn perfection from children, and not giving enough room for them to make mistakes, it ends up futile.
Parents who expect perfection from their kids will end up disappointed because it is an unrealistic goal.
At times the children will become frustrated and disturbed, backing away from trying new things due to the fear of making mistakes or failure.
This leaves a bad mark on them as their self-confidence and esteem reduces.
To avoid this parenting failure, you should stop seeking perfection in them.
Try asking yourself how perfect you are.
6. Not Being a Good Role Model
Children look up to their parents and learn faster from what they do than what they say.
It is known that a child is bound to inculcate 85% of your action than your words.
So, lead by example.
So no matter how you advise them on being respectful, obedient to authority, on how to comport themselves in public, it does little good unless it is shown to them through your behavior.
To avoid this mistake, parents should understand that children are keen observers, who figure out what to do based on what they see.
7. Lack of Quality Time
Children crave the attention of their parents even when their attitude doesn’t portray it.
It strengthens parent-child bond and it means you enjoy spending time with them.
Spending quality time with your child goes beyond a good relationship, it also has a positive psychological effect on them.
Most parents replace quality time with material needs like clothes, toys, phones, etc.
Quality time is so important and cannot be replaced.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be long hours, it could be a few minutes of undistracted attention.
By this, you can catch up on their lives, develop healthy attachment, listen to their problems.
That way, the child realizes that he or she can always come to you to pour out how they feel.
8. Overcompensating them for Everything they do
Yes, it is good to compensate your children for doing something good.
However, compensation should only be for reasonable accomplishment.
For instance, toping their class, graduating from high school to college, etc.
Compensating them for every little thing they do kills self-motivation.
Also, they can rely on this compensation only before they carry out any task at home.
9. Forcing your Ambitions on them
This is one of the major parenting mistakes with teenagers.
Parents should allow their children to pursue a career of their choice.
Every parent wants the best for their kids but sometimes they are clouded by their “own best” and fail to see what the child considers “best” for himself.
Parents push their kids to do the things they wished they did instead of identifying the child’s strengths, talents, and guide her accordingly.
Most times these children become confused and get torn between what they want to do and what their parents want them to do.
10. Limiting your Child’s Freedom
Parents should understand that as a child ages, he should be given liberty.
This fosters independence which builds confidence rather than letting them learn it all in adulthood.
This mistake is mainly considered as single mums parenting mistakes because of the fear of losing them.
11. Giving your Child a Negative Label
Name-calling and labeling a child for a misdemeanor go a long way in shaping the child.
Whatever word you say to your child serves as a template on how they would behave.
Therefore, whenever they act in a way that is not pleasing, instead of calling them a negative name, you should rather focus on the problem and solve it.
It is understandable for a parent to freak out when their child misbehaves but it doesn’t make it right.
Use this as an opportunity to be mindful and not act upon your own emotions.
Use positive words on them. Encourage positivity in your children and watch it influence other aspects of their life.
You can be stern without being negative.
12. Choosing the Wrong kind of Discipline Method
The need for discipline cannot be overemphasized and it should never be overlooked.
However, the punishment should be on par with the offense.
Some actions warrant a grounding, revocation of certain privileges, financial restrictions, etc.
For others, you might just need to have a conversation with your kids and help them understand the situation better.
13. Screen Time
Parents get so busy that they have little or no time to look into what their child does.
The children also get busy watching TV, on phones, or playing games all day.
These activities should be controlled to create time for them to indulge in more constructive activities.
Even when they watch TV, use the internet, etc. it’s important to be aware of the content your kids are exposed to.
Parenting can be hard work but fulfilling if done correctly.
The mistakes we pointed out above will help you do a great job with your kids. You must understand that everyone is unique.
So, feel free to tweak and alter the approach to suit your peculiar situation.
The earlier you deal with these mistakes, the better the results you’ll get. Happy parenting.